What Lies Beneath
It’s far too easy to navigate life focused solely on what we see our external terrain. Whether distracted by the daily grind, hyper-vigilant and scanning for threats, or over-stimulated by the sheer noise of the world, we often lose touch with the inner terrain.
But what lies beneath?
I used to believe I was self-aware. I could list off emotions, explain my triggers, and support others with empathy. But I hadn't yet listened to my body, not really. I hadn’t noticed how deeply it had been holding pain, sorrow, and unprocessed emotion just to help me “hold it together” for everyone else.
That all changed for me
We were participating in a group somatic enquiry around the theme of overwhelm. As we sat together in stillness and brought our attention inward, I focused on the part of my body that had been signalling physical distress for some time. What met me was surprising and tender well of sadness. Not a single event, but a collective grief.
“A deep reservoir of sorrow and the pervasive sensation of being alone in it.”
As someone with aphantasia, I cannot see images in my mind’s eye but I can feel. And this time, I felt it all. The sadness. The yearning for support. The ache of long-held emotion.
I chose not to push it aside.
Instead, I sat with it. I witnessed it. And in that raw and unguarded place, I drew inward to Christ. I didn’t have fancy words or rehearsed prayers, just a simple, vulnerable request:
“Be with me. Guide me. Hold me in this.”
And He did.
Though the sorrow remained, something subtle began to shift. My eyes felt less heavy. My breath clearer. My shoulders softened. The sadness hadn’t vanished but it had been met.
It’s in moments like this that I realise just how often our conscious mind deceives us filtering life through the lens of bias, beliefs, and old narratives.
The outward picture is rarely the full story. Our healing comes not by ignoring these hidden places but by entering them with compassion, curiosity, and Christ.
As I sat in stillness afterward, two scriptures came into my awareness like a gentle whisper from the Spirit:
“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10
“Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.” – Psalm 51:2
These words weren’t forced. They arose organically from within.
They were there He was there waiting beneath the layers.
So often, we try to do our way to healing. But healing begins when we be still. When we lean into what we carry instead of running from it. When we stop performing strength and instead surrender to the Strength that holds us.
Today reminded me that healing is not always how we think, it’s about witnessing. And in those moments of quiet surrender, we come to know:
He is there, within.
If you resonate with this, I invite you to read the blog “In whom we live: The somatic working of a Christ centred life.” and explore our Embody His Love package a sacred space to go inward, heal deeply, and reconnect with the One who holds it all.
