Sensing the Unseen: Aphantasia and the Weight of Unspoken Emotions
The other day, I reflected on a blog I wrote about learning who I am moving from awkwardness toward integration and how Aphantasia has shaped me. Now, knowing this about myself, I am learning to work with it:
to pause, notice, and integrate, rather than letting it rule or control me.
Today, however, I had a realisation that shook me to my core, what I once thought was a strength can sometimes be a hindrance.
I used to feel proud when I believed I could know what someone else was thinking. But over time,
I’ve realised it wasn’t their thoughts I was perceiving,it was their feelings.
I was decoding subtle signals as if I were the receiver. And yet, it goes even deeper than that.
As I write this, I can feel the weight of it.
Our subconscious is always at work, quietly influencing our actions, words, and beliefs about ourselves and others.
But is it always truth? Not necessarily.
As I’ve written before, discernment is vital. This is why I am so passionate about energetics and somatic therapy,without exploring what lies beneath, without seeing the whole picture,
we risk carrying misunderstood emotions that can shape our lives and even ripple across generations.
Now, imagine having Aphantasia and “reading” another person’s subconscious emotions before they’re even aware of their own.
Reliance on sensory cues: enhanced auditory, tactile, and kinesthetic processing; noticing tone and body shifts.
Emotional resonance: mirror neuron and vagal synchrony; feeling what’s unsaid.
Information integration: body-based inference rather than image-based recall.
This makes someone like me a highly attuned, empathic decoder of subtle, unspoken communication,perceiving what’s felt but not verbalised.
What I once assumed were their thoughts were often things they weren’t even consciously aware of themselves.
The realisation hit me hard, bringing a wave of sadness. I’ve often wondered why I could feel so alone, even in the company of others. In that moment, I thought of Christ in Gethsemane, when he said, (Matthew 26:38)
“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me”.
He bore the unspoken burdens of others, carrying the weight of what they weren’t yet aware of, and yet felt the isolation that comes with such deep empathy.
I also reflected on Galatians 6:2:
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
I could feel the resonance of carrying others’ unspoken burdens, knowing that empathy can be a gift—but also a heavy responsibility if left unchecked. And Isaiah 53:4
“Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering…”
the weight of what isn’t consciously expressed, the hidden grief and struggle. I’m not comparing myself to Him, but I could sense the weight of carrying emotions and sensations that aren’t yours and to do so with patience and love.
I felt waves of emotion for all the times I’ve been misunderstood for conflicts and misjudgments that arose not from what people said, but from what their bodies revealed.
I’ve learned the importance of not invading or being intrusive. Receiving insights about others is one thing; discerning what truly belongs to them, versus what belongs to the subconscious, is another.
I’ve realised how easily I’ve judged people when I was reading only shadows of their internal experiences.
Learning to embrace my Aphantasia is also helping me confront the complexity of my childhood trauma, wounds that are still healing.
I share this vulnerably because I wish someone had understood this about me growing up. The loneliness I’ve experienced isn’t about social isolation, it’s about the gap between incoming sensory and emotional input and my ability to process, integrate, and contextualize it internally.
Aphantasic individuals experience the world intensely, but not always in a way that maps internally. It can feel like being alone, even in a crowd. I am reminded of how Christ withdrew to pray in solitude, even in the midst of people (Luke 5:16), finding grounding and release amidst the weight of others’ burdens.
Acknowledging this, for me, is the beginning of compassion for myself and for others.
Moving from Awareness to Integration
While understanding the depth of my Aphantasia and the way I resonate with others’ subconscious emotions has been intense and sometimes lonely, it has also opened the door to growth, self-compassion, and a deeper connection with myself and those around me.
Awareness is powerful
It allows us to pause, discern, and choose how we respond rather than reacting unconsciously to sensations or feelings that may not even belong to us.
Integration is a journey, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But there are tools and practices that can help:
The Pause: When you notice an intense feeling or sensation, pause. Ask yourself: “Is this mine, or am I receiving this from someone else?”
Grounding Practices: Feeling your feet on the floor, noticing your breath, or holding a small object helps anchor you in your own body.
Journaling: Writing down observations allows you to separate your internal experience from external influences.
Somatic Awareness: Gentle movement or body scans help release absorbed energy and reinforce personal boundaries.
Reflection and Discernment: Ask: “What is my truth here? What is information I am sensing but not consciously mine?”
Supportive Resources: Learning from books, blogs, or somatic processing can normalise the experience and provide connection.
That’s why I feel called to this work.
My body knew the modalities I was drawn to weren’t just for others they were meant to help me understand myself, my whole self, and to give me practical tools for life.
And now, through this understanding and integration, I can help others navigate their own journeys with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
If any of this resonates with you, if you’ve ever felt the weight of sensing more than you consciously know, or the loneliness that comes with feeling differently,I invite you to explore these practices for yourself. And if you want guidance on how to pause, integrate, and navigate your own unique experience, you can connect with me here.
