The Biology of Belonging: Vasopressin, Empathy, and Spiritual Thirst
I am continually in awe of the wonder of God and His creation. Recently, I found myself drawn to a question that has been quietly nudging at my heart:
how do we build empathy? Is it something embedded in our physical being, or is it solely a skill that must be learned and practiced?
My curiosity arose from observing the impact of mental health on relationships. Within my own family, some members are deeply empathetic, while others, despite their care and sympathy, struggle to connect emotionally. Miscommunication and relational tension often arise when one person doesn’t know how to put themselves in another’s shoes. This gap creates distance, unresolved emotions, and confusion.
I realised I needed to look at the body as a whole, after all, emotions are rooted in chemical processes. So what exactly is empathy?
In my exploration, two key hormones stood out: oxytocin and vasopressin. While oxytocin is widely studied, vasopressin is less known, yet just as critical. Vasopressin primarily regulates water balance in the body, conserving water during dehydration and maintaining blood pressure,
but it also profoundly influences social bonding and stress responses.
This was a true “aha” moment for me for two reasons. First, I was immediately reminded of scripture and the concept of the “living water.” Second, I discovered emerging research linking vasopressin to autism:
inc a video to learn more about oyxtocin & vasopressin here…
Lower cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) vasopressin concentrations have been reported in children who later receive ASD diagnoses. click here
CSF vasopressin levels correlate with symptom severity in some studies, suggesting AVP (arginine vasopressin) as a potential biomarker and therapeutic target.click here
Vasopressin receptor genes (AVPR1A, AVPR1B) have been linked to traits affecting social communication. click here
The implications are profound.
Empathy is not just a social skill it is rooted in our biology, influenced by ancestral genes, parental bonding, and early relational experiences. While neuroplasticity allows for growth and change, it is most effective when paired with strengthening social and relational skills.
In today’s digital age, where much of life can be mediated through screens, human connection is often deprioritised. News this week highlighted that 1 in 6 boys is now diagnosed with autism, and while many factors are at play, our society’s shift away from direct human interaction may inadvertently affect brain development and social bonding.
When we experience adversity in childhood, it doesn’t just shape how we cope in the moment—it can leave lasting marks on our stress and bonding systems, including vasopressin, the hormone tied to trust, empathy, and attachment. These shifts can carry forward into adulthood, influencing how present we feel in relationships and even how we parent. What’s more, unresolved patterns can ripple into the next generation through pregnancy, early bonding, and the ways children learn to regulate alongside us. But this isn’t a fixed story.
Vasopressin pathways are highly adaptable, the work we do to turn inward healing old wounds, building safety within, and practicing self-regulation can restore balance. Inner enquiry isn’t just self-care.
Inner enquiry isn’t just self-care, it’s a powerful way to break cycles of stress and create resilience that supports both ourselves and our children.
This is why somatic therapies can make a real difference. By supporting the inner terrain of the body, processing undigested emotional experiences, and strengthening regulation, we can help people increase their capacity for empathy and connection. For me, this reinforced the importance of treating the body as a whole.
Returning to my first “aha” moment, the living waters I thought about why Jesus used this metaphor. In John 4:13-14 (niv),
“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
He speaks to the Samaritan woman: a woman isolated, shamed, and broken by fractured relationships. Jesus offers living water as the answer to her thirst for love, belonging, and meaning.
Just as our bodies thirst for water when dehydrated, our souls thirst when we lack love, meaning, and safety. Physically, vasopressin rises to signal our need for water, and balance is restored when we drink. Spiritually, the same pattern unfolds: we chase after worldly sources of comfort, only to find the thirst returns. This is the place where Jesus steps in with His promise of “living water”, offering not just temporary relief, but eternal satisfaction and inner renewal.
Without this living water, our connections often remain insecure, marked by clinging, avoidance, or isolation. With it, we find the security that births compassion, generosity, and authentic love.
In His encounter with the Samaritan woman in John 4, Jesus names her thirst for love and belonging, pointing her and us toward the only source that truly restores balance. In Him, our deepest longings are met, and our relationships flow from a place of wholeness. This is powerful.
In essence We are the sum of many interconnected parts. Even a single hormone like vasopressin plays a profound role not only enhancing empathy but also supporting bonding, connection, and relationships, all of which rely on balance and what scripture calls living waters.
True empathy goes beyond putting ourselves in another’s shoes; it reflects our experience of connection and belonging. It is essential for our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
Understanding how adversity shapes our biology reminds us that the body, mind, and emotions are deeply interconnected. The good news is that these pathways are not fixed, resilience, healing practices, and supportive environments can bring real change.
If you’d like to dive deeper, explore our blog on The Invisible Threads of Energy, Emotion, and Thought. And if you’re ready to take the next step, book a discovery chat together we’ll look at the body as a whole to support your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
