When Rules Replace Compassion
In trauma-informed yoga, one of the core principles is cultivating safety, another is do no harm.
Safety is not created through control
. It is not created through fear., and it is not sustained through rigid rules without relationship.
Safety is cultivated through choice, compassion, presence, and attunement.
When I reflect on these principles, I cannot help but see how deeply they mirror God’s approach throughout Scripture and how often religion, and even modern Christianity, can miss the mark when rules are upheld without grace.
God’s Laws Were Never About Punishment
Yes, God gave laws.
Yes, there were boundaries.
But Scripture is very clear: God did not delight in punishment.
“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”
Hosea 6:6
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”
Psalm 103:8
God’s laws were meant to protect, to guide people toward life, not to shame or destroy them. They were always held within a relational framework of mercy, patience, and restoration.
Yet as humans, when we impose laws without humility, without curiosity, without compassion, something shifts.
We become hyper-vigilant.
We become fear-based.
We leave no room for learning, growth, or change.
This is where harm begins.
When Rules Lose Their “Why”
In trauma-informed practice, we are taught to ask:
What is the purpose of this boundary?
Is it reducing harm or creating fear?
When we focus more on rules than on why they exist, shame often creeps in.
“The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.”
2 Corinthians 3:6
Rules without relationship create:
Those who comply out of fear
And those who rebel because they feel unseen or unsafe
Neither leads to true transformation.
This is what happens when we lose the yin and yang, structure without softness, order without empathy. When religion forgets the nervous system, forgets trauma, forgets the human experience.
God’s Pattern: Compassion, Not Condemnation
Scripture is filled with second chances.
The woman caught in adultery.
Peter denying Jesus.
David’s failures.
Paul’s past persecution.
Jesus did not deny the reality of harm, but He also did not lead with condemnation.
“Neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
John 8:11
Notice the order;
First, safety.
Then, invitation to change.
Healing never happens without safety first.
When Communities Cause Harm
I have felt this personally, recently and deeply.
To be judged without being asked.
To have an assumption placed on me without relationship.
To have no curiosity, no compassion, no opportunity to clarify or grow.
A judgement wasn’t placed on who I am, it was placed on what I apparently did, by someone who did not know me at all.
No second chance.
No conversation.
No grace.
Have you ever felt that?
Have you felt others too quick to judge?
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”
When fear of harm leads us to disconnection, we all suffer.
Safety Is Not Created by Rules Alone
Rules matter.
Boundaries matter.
But safety is not cultivated through rigid enforcement.
It is cultivated through connection.
“Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
Romans 13:10
Trauma-informed spaces, whether yoga studios, churches, or communities ask a deeper question:
How can we do the least harm possible while staying connected?
The challenge is staying present even when we are uncomfortable, staying connected even when we are challenged.
This is what builds resilience.
Growth Requires Exposure, Not Exile
Healing, growth, and change only occur when people feel safe enough to be seen.
Exile does not heal.
Shame does not heal.
Silence does not heal.
“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.”
Isaiah 42:3This is God’s way.
Gentle, Patient, Attuned.
Knowing What Is Ours and What Is Not
A trauma-informed approach also teaches responsibility with clarity:
What is mine to carry
What is not mine to carry
I am responsible for my integrity.
I am responsible for my actions.
I am not responsible for other people’s projections, assumptions, or fear-based reactions.
Understanding this restores inner safety.
“Each one should test their own actions… for each one should carry their own load.”
Galatians 6:4–5
A Call Back to Compassion
If we truly want communities that reflect God’s heart, we must return to:
Curiosity over condemnation
Relationship over rigidity
Compassion over control
Rules without love harm.
Love fulfills the law.
May we create spaces, on the mat, in our churches, in our communities, where safety is felt, not enforced.
Where grace leads the way, where healing is possible.
If this has resonated, you’re warmly invited to book a discovery call to explore learning trauma-informed, somatic tools that support inner enquiry and help you embody grace, not just understand it.
Or, if reading feels like the right next step, you may like “Embracing Healing Through Faith: The RAIN Method and King David’s Journey.”
Healing begins with safety. Grace comes first.
